The more things change, the more they remain the same.

Last night I was scooping snow and J decided to come out and join me. For the first minute or two he followed the paths I was scooping, but soon realized that making his own footprints were much more fun. How profound...and how scary. We made our first snowman of the year together and headed inside for some hot chocolate. I realize that I've almost completely lost touch of innocence. Nights like last night that make me think I can learn to remember, but nights like Saturday night (see pictures below) make me question that theory. Some days(nights) I don't even know who I am. I've spent 7 years in a cloud and I'm not quite sure which road to take. Or do I have to choose? Can a person turn around or is it a one way street? Yikes. Maybe it's the new baby boy on the way. Maybe it's the weather. Either way somethings gotta give. Maybe that thing is me.

It's been nearly a month since I've visited my page. Let's call it a vacation-even though that couldn't be farther from the truth. A while back I received a call at work from my wife and she needed to talk, and she asked me to meet her. Most men don't like hearing the "we need to talk" for other reasons - I figured it was something to do with her back problems and surgery issues. While waiting I even had my self convinced she probably had some deadly disease - chalk that one up to my imagination. She finally made it home and walked in the front door with a small grin and red teary eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing, and then unfolded a sheet of four photos. Not just any photos, but sonogram photos. Fast forward, we are expecting another baby on April 6th! The extreme joy I felt quickly turned into terrible nervous feelings. Fear of not being able to support for our family are too close to home. That fear turns any good mood into another ...